We're like a lot better than the average bears
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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