One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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