i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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