I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
