you told grandpa to call you daddy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You are the jesus of drinking
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
