the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I looked at my own cervix.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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