glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
