i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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