She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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