like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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