I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
