do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
that's an acceptable place to lick
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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