the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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