I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm both gender and math confused
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize