Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(386): View more from Florida

it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

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(303): View more from Colorado

We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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(949): View more from California

The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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(404): View more from Georgia

She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7

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(217): View more from Illinois

The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...

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