I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
