I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
