btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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