I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
