I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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