My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
