Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize