He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
