She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
