maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
