I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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