You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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