Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
