He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize