i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
