She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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