Only a mothe r could love this liver
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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