only if we run a train.
done.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
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Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
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I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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