I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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