every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
