According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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