I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize