Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
