Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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