Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
