Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
