brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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