I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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