Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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