i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
