Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
