the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
