i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
