who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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