I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
