my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
