i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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