I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
