We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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