Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
