Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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