It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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