I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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