I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
