this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
