are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
